Today’s devotion is about dying. Here I thought I knew what my purpose is, and God is showing me who He desires for me to be at this time. It is so scary to think that you must become something that you never expected you could be or even had a clue of what is in you to produce. Although we acknowledge that we will experience a physical death, which will lead to an eternal place of rest, we also experience deaths of many kind. I am in a season of my life where I am beginning to accept that I must die – I have to die to my will. It does not feel good. Forreal. I feel like crying most days. Some days I feel I can do “this.” Other days it’s like: “what am I doing and why?”

When we confess our sins and accept the salvation of God, which comes through Jesus Christ, we are saying that we totally surrender to what we thought our lives would be like and to what He designed our lives to become. But surrendering is not easy. In war, it’s a sign of weakness and defeat. It does not feel GOOD! Dying to your will is a sign of growth. Growth does not feel well. When I was old enough to recall my teeth breaking the gum line, it was uncomfortable. When I watched my belly stretch to what seemed like for miles and days, it was a horrible. When I transitioned from grade level to grade level in school, it was scary.

I never thought that I would be doing anything that I am doing. I desired to be married but did not foresee 5 children. I went to school, obtained graduate and undergraduate degrees, with the plans to enter my field of choice, move up the corporate ladder and make sense of the time I spent learning technology. Neverrrr did that include writing, publishing, blogging, or speaking. But God knew.

Salvation is not free. Not only does it come with a cost, but also brings you to your purpose.

1 Corinthians 6:20 (NKJV)
For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

I have to die to my own will because what I do is not about me. I have to accept who I am becoming and trust the transformation- although it is uncomfortable. I have recognized it would be more uncomfortable remaining in a state knowing I was not created for, rather than walking in faith and moving forward with what is predestined.

Dying daily. Dying to my will and my thoughts; what I wanted, with total submission and understanding that what God has in mind is better than what I wanted; because He has my best interest at heart, and yours as well.

The bible talks about being transformed by the renewing of our minds. If we do not submit, we resist the transformation. Our minds require renewal to accept the will of God that is perfect for our lives and for His glory.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Let us open our hearts and minds to where God is leading us. His ways are perfect and true.