Conditional Love

If you would ask someone what type of friend is considered a true friend, you may hear:

  • Someone who is there for me through good and bad times.
  • Someone that I can talk to, share all of my frustrations with and vent to, without being judged.
  • Someone who keeps me accountable even when I don’t want to be.
  • Someone who tells me the truth even when I’m wrong.
  • Someone who celebrates with me, cries with me, and pushes me.

Today, one would call these types of people: “ride or die.” This is someone who would be there for us regardless of the situation. This person will not just celebrate the good, but also be the biggest shoulder and the greatest ear when things are horrible.

What is so interesting about this ideal is that we have the same expectations of Jesus, and quite frankly, He is all of this to us. We desire it all without sacrifice. We would like for Him to be the good friend, accept us regardless of what we do and how we live, give us everything we desire, strengthen us when we are weak, build us up when we are torn down, allow us to walk in heavenly places on earth.

But…just as soon as trials and unexpected twists and turns pop up in our lives, we give up on Jesus.


“It’s too hard, this is not working, I’ve done everything the Pastor says to do, I come to every service when I can…

…and THIS isn’t working…”

You’re relationship just became conditional. A conditional statement means: “if this, then this…”

We want unconditional love from our Savior, while giving Him a conditional relationship and that, my friend, is a double-standard. The dictionary defines double standards like this:

double standard

a situation in which two people, groups, etc., are treated very differently from each other in a way that is unfair to one of them. 


The Bible defines double standards like this:

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:6-8  (NIV)

To be double-minded means that a person is always living in a state of compromise, a life lived in two directions…one foot in and one foot out. Living with this type of mindset means that you never give Jesus the opportunity to demonstrate His power. You have a “just in case” on the side. You give old habits a reason to remain. it’s like the ex that you say you are no longer involved with but you still have his contact information in your phone.


When we live under these terms, we cannot expect God to move on our behalf. The choice is yours. Who do you love? Are you sure?

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