Have you ever asked yourself the question: “Why me?”
Well, I did. Not that I thought I would be exempt from trials but, well if I be honest, I just did not know what I was going to have to deal with. Even if I had a mind to think of various trials I could go through, I still would not have come up with this stuff.
I graduated from high school with honors at age 16, started college at 17, majored in Business Management and Information Systems, took a year off before starting a Master’s program. Completed the program with a degree in Telecommunications. I met my husband, we remained abstinent until we wed and have been together for almost 15 years…and my dad has not been in my life consistently since the age of 4. Not because I had not tried, he just didn’t respond to the attempts from my mom, as a child and from me as an adult.
Now I am no saint and there is a lot of testimony missing. In fact, it was the issues with men 🙄 that brought me back to my foundation and first love – which is Jesus Christ.
Having done everything “by the book,” so I thought, the war began. I had to learn how to fight, spiritually. I’m not exempt for tribulation, shoot and didn’t think I would be. Paul had to learn. When he was Saul, he fought against the Lord. Paul (then Saul) killed anyone who named the name of Jesus. Then his name was changed to Paul and he fought for Jesus. He knew how to carnally fight, but he had to learn what the spiritual battles were and how to win them.
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,” II Corinthians 10:4 NKJV
Here were some of my battles:
- Our first child was delivered through C-section because her heart rate decelerated.
- 2nd child had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck three times. It was so tight that when I would contract, her head would snap back. At that point, it’s not about me: “Get my baby out! I screamed.”
- After 2 C-sections, I miscarried. I wondered Lord what did I do? Did I upset you? 3 months later, pregnant again. At this point, a 3rd C-section is inevitable.
- 4 girls later, not planning to have any more children, the boy comes.
Yes!!..but another C-section. At this point risks with my age and the number of C-sections I had, my son’s life was at stake and so was mine. I had to put my faith in check. It wasn’t until my husband became a Pastor and I began to understand my purpose, that I soon realized what had been accomplished through me.
PURPOSE had been filled. Faith had grown. Character was developed. My trials had nothing to do with me but everything to do with who the Lord desired for me to reach and compel. My troubles were my spiritual training camp.
Could your worst trial be Jesus’ desire to fulfill His purpose through you?
Who are we kidding here? Fighting is painful. It hurts. Blows from unexpected places sometimes happen. But we must learn how to fight, to soften the hit.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Ephesians 6:12-13 NKJV
Where are your war clothes? Get your mind right, so you can be prepared. You are already a victor because Jesus is fighting for you. Walk in the victory that’s been handed to you.
Gird up your loins soldier. Training camp has begun.