Our finite human mind places limitations on an unlimited God. He does not need to preserve His strength because His power is limitless.

• His attention is never divided.
• His memory is not short; therefore He never forgets His promises.
• His love is not contingent upon what we do for Him.
• His grace and mercy is not extended to only those He prefers or liked.

His gifts and callings were given before you ever repented and therefore can’t be taken back. You can give them back or they be of no value to you by how you dishonor and show lack of appreciation.

“God’s gifts and calling can’t be taken back.”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭11:29‬ ‭CEB‬‬

But there are, however, stipulations and restrictions to see His power personally demonstrated in our lives: our choice. It is also known as freewill.

The choice to live or the choice to die.

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;” ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭30:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

God has all power. He could control our every move. Instead He offered us freewill and the ability to choose Him or the world. Since we are made in His image, this concept should not be a hard to grasp. I would not want someone to converse with me or spend time with me forcibly. Wouldn’t you want people to like and love you for you, and not what you can offer?

So since we have these feelings, this implies to me that we give people freewill in our lives as well. We allow people the opportunity to know who we are. We give people a chance to call us friend, family, wife, or husband. When they trample and walk on our emotions and our heart, we disconnect ourselves. Why? Because their actions our toxic to our lives. Mmmm Jesus! I see.

So why…is it wrong…for a perfect and pure being. Who is not like us at all, to allow a foreigner who he completely kicked out of Heaven, to taint His beauty and perfection? Sin is toxic. Why would the Lord allow sin – the impurities of the flesh, caused by the enemy, to dwell in His presence? The works of the flesh make the spiritual body of Christ toxic and God will not have that.

“Don’t you know that your bodies are parts of Christ? So then, should I take parts of Christ and make them a part of someone who is sleeping around? No way! Don’t you know that anyone who is joined to someone who is sleeping around is one body with that person? The scripture says, The two will become one flesh. The one who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:15-17‬ ‭CEB‬‬

We women. We have standards galore when it comes to a man.

• “I’m a queen and I need a king.”
• “My standards are high and I’m not lowering them for no man.”
• “Come correct or don’t come at all.”

That’s good. That’s great. We should all have principles, morals and values that we adhere to, when then allow us to walk with integrity. It’s okay for us to rattle off a laundry list of dos and Donts. It’s interesting that we want Jesus to be perfect to save us from our mess but then Jesus should also allow us to access heavenly gifts and rain down blessings from heaven, to build up the enemy’s kingdom. Think about that. Lord give me this and that. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Now after you give it to me, I will take it and use it for this evil being over here. I still should be able to party, smoke and drink. Jesus I need this job though. Can you come through for me? We don’t really even KNOW Jesus. We take NO time, or the littlest time possible to read the word but then we have a list of requests in our prayers. We take 5 minutes to read. How much time did you spend to become familiar with the person you wanted to enter a relationship with? We spend hours talking on the phone to that “one” and Become drunken-like sleepy after 5 minutes of getting into the word. 😳

That’s like me giving one of my children a check for the full amount of their savings account when they turn 18. I imagine them to use this gift – my years of sacrifices, towards college needs. Instead, they dropout of college, spend the money living riotously and traveling. While you may say why would that be an issue, they should do what they want. Live how they desire. College may not be for them. Me as their mother, I see the road that they are traveling. I know in this day and time, without a degree, you’ll be subject to just surviving and not thriving. I know that if you get the education and become more stable, then you can make your own money and travel where you desire. I know that the end result is my child returning to me, needing my help.

And that is what is wrong with our thinking. We have so much freewill that we really do not understand what it means to be free- the will to be free! The desire to be free. Our tainted and distorted view of freedom has nothing to do with spirituality and everything to do with the world views.

Our Father has standards that He will not lower for our fleshly stupidity.

“Jesus replied, “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37, 39-40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

His standards are attainable, but only through freewill submission. Freewill. It means the desire to be free. In our effort to prove we do not need anyone, we demonstrate that same self-sufficient attitude towards our Father. It’s no longer freewill- the desire to be free but rather defiant- a refusal to obey or listen.

Life has a way of rerouting us unexpectedly. Lately, my devotions have tied to the loss of my mother because writing about her is therapeutic for me. With her passing, even with the reroute/detour, I have had to continue on. Life does not stop. I have had to push through my emotions, determine how to manage and cope, and continue to pursue and fulfill my purpose. My children, my family, my husband and my church are positive influences to push me. I can’t just sit and mope. 

If you only knew the days that were so challenging. I then pick up my phone only to receive a text or inbox from and unexpected source- just to simply say that we are in their prayers. It makes me emotional to know there are people who are genuinely concerned about me. Which is why I do what I do. I do my utmost not to offend, to show love and to be sympathetic and empathetic to the needs of others as well. We all need that.

I digressed a bit- as I was saying. Since my mother passed away, my family has been going nonstop. It has been one thing after another; completing projects, meeting deadlines, activities, events. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. I told my husband that I needed to getaway. I just needed to detox my mind. I did not want my thoughts to produce toxicity in my body, as a result of stress, tension, sadness, frustration, heartbrokenness and mourning because my mom is gone. I’ve said this before; I have not been angry with the Lord – I’m not stupid. Those types of thoughts have not crossed my mind; but I have been still. Let me help you.

The word of God says:

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I have not drawn closer to God, so that He can draw closer to me. I’ve just been still. I have not moved, which means He has not moved. My mouth utters: “I trust you, God,” but my body is numb to the hurt, preventing my Father from wrapping His arms around me to comfort me. As of late, I have begun to take steps again. I need my Father. Only God – the source of everything can comfort me because He knows why everything occurs. He is my strengthening source. I need Him to help me, hold me, and comfort me.

Last week, we left. We packed overnight, grab the kids, and we just left. I recognized that my husband needed to getaway as well. He has been so busy being strength for me, He needed to have His strength renewed.

While on vacation, my children were playing in a kid’s pool. There were many children in the pool. My lounging chair was not in direct sight of them because of the shrubbery, but I could stand up to check on them and see if there were okay or when they yelled out for us to watch them as they slowly plummeted down the slowest waterslide of all. 😂😂😂

While seated in the lounge chair, I hear one of my children scream. I immediately reply: “that sounds like bro.” A person seated next to me casually says: “There are many children out here who all sound alike.”

I stand up. While walking towards the entrance to the pool, my daughter Asia is guiding Bro out of the pool. I ask her what’s wrong. She says that he had some water splashed in his eyes and wanted to wipe them. I asked her was that him that screamed out. She says…YES!

After I wiped his eyes and they proceeded back to pool, I sat down. Immediately the scripture came to me:

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John‬ ‭10:27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

There were hundreds of people speaking, children playing and laughing, but out of them all, I knew my son’s voice.

Please don’t get it twisted. If God is intelligent enough to create someone or some thing from a spoken word- something as uniquely crafted as you and I, why would we be unable to recognize when He speaks to us? If knees will bow and mouths will confess by speaking the NAME of Jesus, what are we as a people doing? Why are we not seeing the move of God directly in our lives? Because we are ignoring the voice.

Do yourself a favor:

1. Grab you secret box off the shelf, off your table, or from your bedroom dresser.
2. Open the box.
3. Take Jesus out of the box.

The Jesus that we have produced in our mind is so much bigger. He is bigger than your season of singleness. He is bigger than the sin you give in to. He is greater than anything and everything if we would only listen to His voice. You know His voice and He knows us. Instead of following the Good Shepherd, we behave as goats, squandering around, making havoc of our lives when the Good Shepherd simply desires to lead us through the mountains of life and into green pastures.

It’s not hard. Once you sincerely change your mind and your thoughts, the rest is easy. Thoughts are intangible things we cannot see but produce physical, tangible things that we see.

For example. Before you begin your day, or at night when you lay your head down to rest, you have a THOUGHT of what you plan to do and you direct your daily steps and activities around that thought. Your thoughts produced the things you did today.

Jesus continues to demonstrate His power all around us, and yet we do not believe His works. If we did, we would follow Him.

“Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in My Father’s name, they bear witness of Me. But you do not believe, because you are not of My sheep, as I said to you. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.” John‬ ‭10:25-28‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I decided long ago, that I would follow Jesus. Will you?

The Summer season is in full effect. This season brings out some of the best memories. We spend more time with our children, as they enjoy a short break from the school environment. We plan travel to spend time with relatives that may live in other states and attending family reunions. The attitude of people is more joyful. 

Summertime is a chance to remove some of the layers of clothing required in the other Seasons and to truly enjoy a season of warmth, growth, and life.

While you may not recognize, I just gave praise to the enjoyment of the Summer. I wrote good things about why we love summertime.

Praise is when we say or write something good about someone or some thing.

I am afraid that we have become so accustomed to traditions, we no longer seek to know the Lord for ourselves. We desire the minister who is feeding us to do all of the work. We leave the sanctuary and expect that spiritual meal to suffice until the next Sunday. Beyond the walls of the church building, we become consumed with life and are unwilling to take time to open our Bibles and learn why God loved us so much and what Jesus really means to us. Let me give an example.

When the man or woman of God requests the congregation to “Give God Praise…” immediately, the congregation bursts into a scream or shout- for a good 5-10 seconds. In actuality, that is all that we are doing. We are shouting, as if we are at a sports event. “Whoooo, yessss, heyyyyy, glorayyyyy.” Where in these examples did we admonish the Lord for the good things He has done? Recall the definition of praise is to say or to write something good about a thing or a person.

The Bible says:

But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. (Psalms 22:3, KJV)

This scripture is praising God for His holiness. It also brings attention to the Lord and his people.

This scripture says that God inhabits the praises of His people. 

• To inhabit something means that you dwell in the midst of it. 
• To habit something implies that you are present. 

Another biblical version uses the word enthroned in place of inhabit which means God has took a seat in the midst of your praise. He came to hear what you were saying about Him.

I have been more conscious in making my children eat more fruits and vegetables. On last evening, I cooked a healthy meal for my family. They told me that the food was very good. My family praised me for the meal that was prepared. They were specific in drawing attention to a certain moment in time. They were not eluding to previous meals I have made, but this special one that they enjoyed. 

When we praise the name of Jesus, we are specific in praising Him for something He has SPECIFICALLY done in our lives. We can recall to our mind that one thing we were uncertain of how we would benefit or how good would come from it- and He messed around it did it. God did it! That is a praise. We remember when we were asked by a friend to come to church. We were in a low place and the man or woman of God said something that spoke specifically to our situation. Tears began to flow. We left there thinking about Jesus and we soon found ourselves returning to that place. Remember when he removed you from that abusive situation? Remember when you thought you were stuck at that job? Recall you made a bad business decision and some how you got out? Remember when your child was facing a horrible situation and you prayed to your Father and He moved on the behalf of your family? Remember when you had no peace and all the seasons appeared to flow together as a drought. Due season was never an expectation of yours. Do you remember? 

It’s no wonder we do not see the Lord move more in our own personal lives. If we are ranting and yelling, He has not come to see (inhabit) what you are talking about or saying (praising). All we are doing is saying whoo- glorayyy- hallelujah – but for what? When God is enthroned or inhabits our praise, every good thing that He does is available to us.

Why is this important? Bae baeee, when you are going through tough times and you are trying to find God in the mess and in the midst of your crisis stop. Quit trying to find God, and start worshiping Him and He will find you. He seeks for people to worship Him. God proved this to be true. I’m excited in my Spirit.

This man by the name of Jehoshaphat had some enemies that were looking to overtake Him and the Kingdom he ruled over. Honey, a worship leader came and told Jehoshaphat that God said to get into position. God would fight for them and they will see the salvation of God. Did you hear me? A worship leader. But before that happens, Jehoshaphat acknowledged God. In other words, He prayed. He spoke to his Father about the situation He was facing.

After the worshiper came down, Jehoshaphat says okay…forget the army, bring me the choir. The man appointed singers and praisers who went before the army of Jehoshaphat’s enemies and just as God had promised, the enemies were destroyed. You can find that in YOUR Bible: 2 Chronicles 20.

Praise keeps us mindful of what only God could do but it also keeps us mindful of how much we owe to Him. The next time you hear someone say: “Give God praise,” refrain from the tradition of yelling and screaming. Begin to thank Him for the specific things God has done for you and what He means to you and watch Him come take a seat in the midst of your storm and move out the enemy. Somebody gotta go, and my God doesn’t take a back seat to anyone or anything.

Give credit to where credit Is due. Give praise to God, our Father, in the name of Jesus.

Give God Praise!!!!!

“It is good to give thanks to the LORD, And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, And Your faithfulness every night,
O LORD, how great are Your works! Your thoughts are very deep. A senseless man does not know, Nor does a fool understand this.”
Psalms‬ ‭92:1-2, 5-6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Have you ever felt desperate? Before I ask that question, let me be clear that we all understand what being desperate means.

A person that is desperate feels hopeless. A desperate person will do something out of the norm or extreme to escape the situation they are in.

I recall a movie entitled: “John Q.” The dad (played by Denzel Washington) resorts to desperate measures in an effort to save his son’s life, who needed a organ transplant. Insurance would not cover the costs and government aid was denied. John Q, decides to hold a hospital hostage.

Now that is what I call desperate. John (Denzel) was willing to sacrifice all that he had- even if that meant losing his life, so that his 9 year-old son would receive the attention he needed to live.

Hmmm…that reminds me of a couple of people, who have shared their life stories as an example for others.

A man by the name of Jesus, Son to the indescribable Father, who calls me His daughter. Oh and by the way, my Father happens to be God. Come on in the room! Does anyone else feel the way I do? Jesus was willing to sacrifice everything – even with it meaning losing His life, to save mine (you better make it personal).

Then I read about a man. He is referred to as “blind Bartimaeus.” The Bible says in Mark the 10th chapter, that Mr. Bartimaeus sat by the side of the highway begging. He heard that Jesus was passing by. He began to cry out for Jesus to have mercy on Him. The folks around Him told Bartimaeus to be quiet. Oh God, but the closer Jesus came the louder Bartimaeus cried.

Bartimaeus had a desperate cry for help. I imagine that he could careless who was shhhh’ing Him. It could’ve been Caesar himself; Bartimaeus was going to continue to try to get the attention of Jesus.

His faith caught the attention of Jesus, who called Bartimaeus over. The interesting thing is that Bartimaeus was direct and clear. He wasn’t like the rich ruler who began to tell Jesus how he kept commandments from his youth to adulthood. Bartimaeus asked for His sight and He believed Jesus could restore it.

• What are you desperate for?
• What is your soul crying for?
• Is it for your pleasure or to bring God glory?

After Jesus granted Bartimaeus’ request, He followed Jesus. The very fact that Jesus is willing to fulfill our heart’s desire should be enough to separate from anything that defames His name and follow Him.

What you are desperate for is portrayed through the life that you live before others and behind closed doors.

Bartimaeus cries for help got Jesus’ attention. Whose attention are you desperately seeking?

 Bartimaeus proved that there is nothing we need more desperately than Jesus.

“Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road.” Mark‬ ‭10:52‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

When making preparations for war, the soldier prepares his mind to recall the training he has endured.

He prepared his body through physical training, resting and eating properly the days leading up to the battle.

He prepared his weapons, ensuring that they are functioning properly and ready for use.

His group is prepared through meetings to discuss tactics, logistics and alternative routes- in case the original plans fail.

We too must prepare ourselves. Life is a daily battle. There are daily battles to fight, and there are always victories to be won.

It is no longer enough to wake up, give a mediocre word of thanks and a mediocre review of the “scripture of the day” that is sent to us through the Bible App on our mobile phones.

Before our feet touch the floor, the enemy has already put together his plan of attack. While you were asleep, he orchestrated a plan to divert your focus from the Lord.

War requires training:

• Practice using your gear (speak the word). 
• Pray without quitting. 
• Study your war plan (the word of God). 
• Put on your armor. 

And rest in victory. You’re confident that you’ll win because first, you trained and secondly, the Commander in Chief has never lost a battle.

“The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord.” Proverbs‬ ‭21:31‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Lately I have been so busy. It’s been one thing after another; from one activity to the next. It’s been a good busy. Honestly, since my mother passed away, I have consciously kept myself busy because it keeps my mind from being idle. However, at some point, I have to settle down and that happened on Monday evening. I calmed down and the tears began to roll. As I hid my face from my babies, and laid down, I asked the Lord to comfort my soul. I heard TD Jakes say in the opening session of “Woman Thou Art Loose” that so much had attempted to come up against him and his staff the week of and during the beginning stages of Megafest 2017. In his opening session he spoke of someone losing a loved one. Of course at this point, he had my full attention. The person asked: “How do I go on? I don’t understand this.” Td Jakes response was: “Do not try to understand – SURVIVE IT!” 

I am in my survival phase of life. Back to Monday night. My mother passed on Monday, June 12th of this year so Mondays are challenging right now. As I lay and ask for comfort, I recall falling asleep. Somewhere in the night, I do not know if I was awake or no. But an image came to mind. One that resembles this:

I have been thinking about this image for a couple of days and trying to make sense of it- and it makes sense as to how we are the light of the world. 

God is our source. 

“yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live.” ‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭8:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

We were created in His image. After all the crazy stuff that withdrew us away from Him, He sent His Son Jesus to be the Light to bring us back to Him. 

“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world.” ‭‭John‬ ‭1:4, 9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

He sent us here to fulfill a specific purpose. When we reconnect to the source of light, we became little lights. One light does not out shine the others. One may have a different purpose than the other, but we all come from the same source. We are all members of this one body or source of light. 

“But now indeed there are many members, yet one body.” ‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭12:20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Please don’t forget your purpose. If you are unsure of what that purpose is, establish a closer relationship with God, through Jesus. Repent! What does that mean: stop doing any and everything that causes separation between you and Jesus. He will reveal to you what the purpose of your life is, because we came from Him. Any glory, recognition or rewards we receive through our God-given purpose BELONGS to Him because it originated from Him. 

The image of light made this scripture clear for me:

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Our works are only good through the light of our Savior.  The glory (public praise, honor or fame) you get for anything, belongs to the Lord. 

ALL THE GLORY BELONGS TO YOU, FATHER

And when it’s all said and done, we shall return to the one who has everything to do with us. God our Father, through Jesus Christ. 

You are the source of Heaven’s light on the Earth. Don’t lose your light.

 Are you reflecting or deflecting the Light?

“Then Jesus said to them, “A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light.” These things Jesus spoke, and departed, and was hidden from them.” ‭‭John‬ ‭12:35-36‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Have you ever been at the store, standing at the checkout counter, and noticed a cute little baby? It seems like the chunkier, the cuter. Neck, arms and leg rolls on a child is THE cutest thing ever. How quickly our perception changes as we get older. Chunky on me at 7 months is way cuter than at 41 👀

Under normal circumstances, a child will grow. It begins within the womb and then continues outside of the womb.

As humans, growth is mandatory. No matter what we do, we will experience physical growth. It is the development that occurs at different paces, based on the parent’s nurturing and support tactics.

Some parents encourage and promote their babies to grow and develop faster, based upon what they are being fed, how often the child is eating and physical activity. For example. As my children moved through their infant stages of life, I would begin making a pallet on the floor and placing them on their stomachs to improve their neck muscles. Why? So they could receive strength and learn to control their neck and head movement independently. As they grew in age, this position on the floor would also produce leg and arm strength, teaching them how to get up on all fours, to learn the first stage of mobility (crawling).

To grow means to become larger or increase in size. Development is the process of growing. In other words, what you do (or not do) to experience growth.

Growth is mandatory.

There is no option to remain a child or to pick and choose the stage in life we preferred and remain that age. How many times have you reflected on the responsibility of being an adult and said within yourself: “if only I can be a kid again?”

Whelp. Spiritual growth is also mandatory. What you feed your spirit (development) determines the rate of your growth and the type of growth. We can either grow to righteousness or to foolishness. We can either grow in spiritual wisdom or stupidity. We can either grow in faith or fear.

If we continue to make excuses for wrong doing, we develop self-righteousness and feed our flesh. When we forget the purpose is to uplift Him and draw people to HIM, we develop prideful attitudes and behaviors. The fleshly desires are nurtured and developed.

“We have all become like the unclean; all our righteous deeds are like a menstrual rag. All of us wither like a leaf; our sins, like the wind, carry us away.” Isaiah‬ ‭64:6‬ ‭CEB‬‬

If we make Jesus the center of our lives by absorbing all of the wisdom and knowledge left for us through the word of God, we develop a God-conscience and understand that our righteousness and sufficiency is in Him. The spiritual desires are nurtured and developed.

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,” II Corinthians‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Growth is mandatory. How you develop (the process) your growth produces the results in your life that you see today.

“as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,” ‭‭I Peter‬ ‭2:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What are you giving more attention to? Your flesh or your spirit?

“For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.”‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:5, 7-8‬ ‭NLT

It’s almost every day that we hear of a tragedy. Death, illnesses, diagnosis, layoffs, unexpected bills, unplanned maintenances and repairs. You name it!

One of my daughters love dance and she’s pretty good at it. So we involve her in activities that cater to her gifts. I decided to sign her up for a dance conference. Since she is under age, I had to attend as her chaperone. The conference is associated with Bishop TD Jakes’ faith and family conference entitled MegaFest.

The timing couldn’t be worse for me and what has taking place personally in my life. You see, I know what his conferences bring and the spiritual refreshing. I was not in a spiritual space to receive any sort of impartation. In case you are unaware, over the past 2 weeks, I’ve been associating devotions with the loss of my mother, who passed on June 12th. So I have not been on my spiritual game. I cannot say that I have been trying to be strong, I’ve just been trying to figure out how to continue on with life. There’s purposes I have to fulfill for my ministry, the church, my children and my husband. The things the Lord is quickly doing in my life, I expected my mother to experience with me. I already don’t have a dad in my life. He exited and left their marriage when I was 4. I’ll explain it differently. Since my mom passed away, there has been a disconnect between God and I. He didn’t move away. Neither did I. I just had not been pressing towards him. I have been still! I had not been talking to Him as much. I had begun to lose my conversation. I felt like I didn’t know what to say to Jesus. The only thing I could think to say without speaking stupid stuff over my life is: “I trust you God.” What we fail to realize is there is power in what we say. Our words plant seeds and the seeds sown produce a fruit. That fruit can be rotten to our soul or nourishment. Just because lack a full understanding of my mother’s death, I’m not stupid to fly off at the mouth to my Father.

Here we are at this conference. The Lord strategically placed me here. After the dance piece ended, we had time to attend the evening session. We attended the opening session of Woman Thou Art Loosed, where Bishop Jakes delivered the message. The Holy Spirit spoke to everything I am facing even NOW- both good and bad; but specifically regarding my mother, Bishop says (paraphrasing):

“This week has been a mess. The enemy has been fighting us all week even up until now. He even attacked my body. When that happened, it was war. I said oh, I know there’s going to be some breakthroughs this week. We have illnesses and deaths. A close friend just lost a loved one and he/she said they are trying to understand. I told them don’t try to understand. Survive it! You will never understand God. He will reveal the why in due time but He is God. He does not need to address your why. SURVIVE IT!”

That resonated with me. I burst into tears. I must and will survive this but I cannot and will not, by withdrawing from my Savior and not allowing The Comforter to minister to me. My soul was ministered to on last evening. I actually already understand why my mom passed suddenly, but I had not accepted it until last evening. I do know why.

Last evening, I recalled to my mind who the Holy Spirit is. He is a gentleman. He is gentle. I had to remember who my Father is. He is close to those whose spirit is broken. He does not desire to see us hurt or to deliberately hurt us.

“God! His way is perfect; the LORD’s word is tried and true. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.” Psalms‬ ‭18:30‬ ‭CEB‬‬

I had to remember that my mother was HIS daughter before she was my mother. He will bring us out. We will not be casual about our freedom, because God will not and cannot fail. We are confident in His ability to deliver because in all these “things…” things of hurt, depression, anxiety, uncertainty, and whatever other emotion we have, we are MORE than conquerors…BUT. ONLY. THROUGH. CHRIST!

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”Romans‬ ‭8:37‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So what are you going to do with what you’re dealing with?

1. Will you give up?
2. Will you be the one the Lord can depend on?
3. Will you do everything you can to live in peace with everyone?
4. Will you seek the good even in a horrible crisis?

Not only should you make a difference in someone else’s life, but yours also.

You can do it!We can do it! Together.

Even in the storm, God has promised to deliver. He has done that for me. Oh God, I love you for your faithfulness on today. 

“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins. So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter‬ ‭1:4-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I have been pregnant for some time now. Although I have delivered 4 children by cesarean section, this pregnancy is like none other.

The pregnancy appeared to be going well, once I accepted that I was actually pregnant. Denial is almost as deafening as fear. I actually believe that both denial and fear are first cousins. Denial is a refusal to satisfy a request. While fear is being apprehensive or afraid to do something. So I would refuse to do something simply because I am afraid. Afraid of inadequacy. Afraid of opinionated comments. Afraid of failing.

On Thursday, May 25, 2017, the Pastor, who is also my husband, was concluding Bible Study. He told the congregation that whatever we were anticipating the Lord to do for us, He would by July 1st and we should praise and worship Him as if it is already done. I normally would pitty-pat my hands, give a half-hearted wave unto the Lord but this time, I recall giving the Lord a completely surrendered YES. I praised Him as if what I had petitioned Him for had already occurred in my life. I honestly had not done that before.

The VERY next day, what I had petitioned the Lord for, came in an unexpected way. In fact, the Pastor was ministering on when the Lord sends you a blessing from an unexpected source. I could not believe it and even today I still cannot believe what is about to transpire in my life. However, I’m still pregnant. There are some things that have to be delivered.

Monday, June 12, 2017 – 8:43 pm, I went into labor. The thing about labor is that it happens unexpectedly. Your body gives you signs that it is almost time. The doctor gives a due date based upon information you have provided along with ultrasounds for measuring the baby’s development, but you still have no idea when you will go into delivery. I thought my mother would be on this journey with me. She was so excited when I shared with her the news that I received, but I did not realize that her passing would cause the spiritual water bag to break.

I’m still grieving. I go through various emotions every day and rightfully so; It’s only been two weeks. I honestly cannot believe that she is really gone! You may see me crying now, but it is only because I am in labor. These birthing pains are horrific. But bae baeee, when the Lord delivers what has to come forth, it will undeniably be from Him.

Now there is no more hesitation.
Now there is a sense of urgency.
Now there is a “I’ll go if I have to go by myself.”
Now there is a surrendered “yes.”

Job went through a purging process. We often read about Job from the perspective of Him losing everything and receiving double. Actually, that is not the entire story. Job’s wife was not all in. When “things” began to happen to their “stuff,” she was ready to turn her back on the Lord…all because of THINGS! She told her husband to curse God and die? Really? Ummm, sweetie, that is so selfish. So Mrs. Job you would look to inherit all of the riches and continue on in your little ole happy life and you would rather do it without your husband? You really want your husband to die rather than to trust God who gave Him everything you possess? Job’s children did not have the capacity to receive the double portion. They were already unthankful. Job petitioned God on their behalf. What would they do with a DOUBLE portion of a blessing? So the Lord removed the people and the things in Job’s life that would make Him forget who His source was and did not have the capacity to handle the next phase of Job’s life.

Maybe my mom’s passing at this time was God’s plan to have her with Him while she was doing well because He knew that soon, things would take a turn and that turn would have me more focused on her than Him. Maybe. I do not know. All will be revealed in due time. I do know this: there is a spiritual purging that I am experiencing. Outwardly, my expression is somber. Inwardly, there is a spiritual shifting that is taking place.

What noun (person, place, or thing) are you allowing to hinder your delivery or forcing you into pre-mature labor? What excuses have you made to prevent yourself from being in total submission to God? He is so much bigger than your half-hearted praise, your inconsistent sacrifice, your doubt of who He is. One thing is for certain, the will of God will be done, with or without our consent. 

You are pregnant with God’s PURPOSE! The delivery date is SOON approaching. You need to prepare for the birth that will change your life, for the rest of your life!

“You need to endure so that you can receive the promises after you do God’s will. In a little while longer, the one who is coming will come and won’t delay;”‭‭ Hebrews‬ ‭10:36-37‬ ‭CEB‬